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Thursday, November 10

Online Dating: 12 Steps To Get Noticed And Get A Date Online

If you want to achieve success with online dating, you will need to educate yourself with the online dating scene. Online dating sites provide a service for people to meet but a dating site can only do so much of the work and input is required from you if you are serious about meeting a partner online.

Whilst thousands of people are joining dating sites every day, hundreds are not making the most of the services a dating site has to offer. I’m no psychic but I’m pretty certain that someone who writes a dull or uninformative profile, doesn’t include a photo and makes no effort to contact anyone will not be inundated with invitations for a date.

By making a few simple changes to the way you are dating online, you could see instant results meeting people you would never have met before so don’t be a wallflower, stand out online and be proactive in your search for a date.

1. Sell Yourself
Your profile is like an advertisement and you need to sell yourself in the dating game.
The eye-catching part of you profile is your photo. Include a photo of yourself (not someone else or a cartoon!) and you could increase your responses by as much as 8 times.
Answer all questions honestly, be positive, focus on your good points and provide members with just enough information about yourself so that they are eager to find out more. Please don’t talk about exes or how miserable your life is…. it won’t attract people to you!

2. Search outside of the box
We may all have an idea of our ideal partner but just because someone is slightly younger, older or from a different town doesn’t mean they won’t turn out to be your ideal partner! Most dating sites provide a search facility to vary your search settings so if your search results don’t reveal anyone who catches your eye try widening your search settings.

3. Get intimate anonymously
The beauty of online dating is that you can get to know someone without revealing any personal details. Emails are sent using an anonymous messaging facility so take advantage of this and spend as long as you wish getting to know someone. Don’t feel pressured into meeting up with someone you have just met online. If they are serious, they will be happy to wait if this is your preference.

4. Make the first move
Don’t be shy – you make the first move. Remember everyone online is serious about meeting someone so, if you see someone you like, contact him or her first. Don’t wait for someone to contact you.

5. Make conversation
Show your interest - The best way to get someone’s attention and get a response is to ask a question specific to his or her profile. This shows you have read their profile and are interested in them.

Flatter them! - Don’t be afraid to use your charm! Whether you like their photo or you are impressed by the fact that they have run the marathon – tell them. Everyone likes receiving compliments.

Make them laugh! - I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, you’re on the path to a good relationship. Be witty and amusing in your messages and they will look forward to hearing from you.

Be flirtatious, not rude! – Don't be afraid to flirt a little if that's how you feel but equally don't be too flirtatious as it could be taken the wrong way. Never talk about sex or imply this is what you are looking for.

6. Keep a little mystique!
Whilst I would encourage you to talk openly and honestly about yourself so that people get to know you try not to tell your whole life story in one e-mail. Hold a little something back for the next message.

7. Arrange a chat room date
Chat rooms are another great way to chat instantly with someone without revealing any personal information. A quality chat room will also provide the facility to have a private one-to-one chat with someone so if you’ve messaged someone, why not invite them to meet you in the chat room at a specific time and day… just like a “real” date. You can then decide whether you want to take it further “offline”.

8. Chat on the phone
If you’re thinking of arranging a date with someone, chat to him or her on the telephone first but use the blocking feature to prevent your number appearing on Caller ID. Go over topics that you’ve mentioned in emails to verify that what he or she has told you is the truth. Ask yourself if the voice you are talking to is someone you feel comfortable with and someone you could trust.

9. Don’t be disheartened
If you’ve sent a message but haven’t received a reply, don’t be disheartened. There could be many reasons why someone hasn’t replied to a message you’ve sent; the recipient may not have logged on for a while, their membership may have lapsed or they may not be a full member entitling them to reply back to you.

If you’ve sent one message then follow it up with a second message to show him or her that you are genuinely interested. If you still don’t get a response, move on to the next person!

10. Give people a chance
If you receive a message from someone who does not immediately tick all of your boxes, don’t rule them out straight away. Reply back to him or her and try and find out a bit more about them. You may have more in common than you first thought and, if not, at least you can say you tried.

11. Be polite when rejecting
If you don’t like someone who has contacted you, do not be rude or offensive. You can either ignore them (hopefully this will get the message across) or politely tell them you are not interested. A reputable dating site will provide a facility to “block” nuisances sending you messages so, if someone is pestering you, don’t be afraid to use this tool.

12. Be safe!
Do not give anyone your home telephone number, address or workplace address until you have met a number of times and are 100% comfortable with that person. Remember that people can be whoever they want to be online - wait until your instincts tell you this is someone you can trust.

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If you find you don’t get many responses, you may need to think about alternative conversation starters or rewrite your profile.

Hopefully you’ve got the idea now so it’s over to you! Good luck and remember to have fun!
Alison Edwards runs a UK based dating site. is an active community where people of all ages meet looking for a relationship, friendship and even marriage!’s services include anonymous messaging, chat room, private one-to one chat, various search methods and much more.

Starbucks and Online Dating

Avoid Online Dating Disasters – Three Easy Steps

The vast majority of the forty million North Americans who log onto an online dating website each and every month are very nice people. Most are honest and hard working individuals. However, there is a group of people who are not nice at all. Unfortunately, we only seem to hear about the negative online dating experiences.

Just last week one of the members of our online dating site phoned and asked if we would suspend his profile. It turns out he was very happy with our site. I guess you could say he was very happy. He met a lady online and flew from Arizona to Alberta to meet her in person. They immediately hit if off!

Unfortunately we rarely hear of such compliments. Most often, we only hear about the bad experiences. Here are three easy steps to help avoid online dating disasters.

See A Picture

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. In the online dating world, a picture will save you a thousand disappointments.

If a person contacts you online and they do not have a picture posted with their profile, you should proceed with caution. One of the first things you need to ask yourself is, “why don’t they have their picture posted?” Are they trying to hide something? Are they being honest about their appearance?

The list of reasons a person can provide for not having a picture posted online are numerous. Listen to each reason and take the responses with a grain of salt. The bottom line is you should be careful when the person does not show you a picture.

Internal Email

Until you get to know someone, you really should take advantage of the internal email system that dating sites offer. This way of communicating offers total anonymity. The other person knows nothing about you unless you tell them specifically about it.

If you have ever posted your email address on a discussion board or a BLOG, that information will live forever on the internet. You would be surprised how much a person can find out about you, just by using your email address.

Share your email address only if you feel very comfortable with the other person. Using the internal email ensures your safety and privacy.

Starbucks for coffee and a Date...

Your first meeting should be in a public place. Do you want to go for coffee must be one of most frequently asked questions in the world of online dating. If you are going on a first date, you may want to tell someone where you are going as an added safety measure.

Starbucks or any other café on a Sunday afternoon can be the perfect place for your first meeting. A coffee can be as little as fifteen minutes or it can be longer than two hours. The relaxed casual atmosphere can be a great backdrop to a great conversation. You can get to know someone a great deal over the course of a coffee on a Sunday afternoon.

If your first meeting is not going well, you can leave whenever you want. If on the other hand it looks like you are hitting it off, you can always agree to meet on the upcoming weekend.

Above all else, you should use common sense when it comes to online dating. You would not give your name or phone number to anyone wearing a mask so why would you give another individual your personal information if you have not seen a picture of them?

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Online Dating With Friends - 5 Ways Your Friends Can Help You Find Love Online

Finding someone to date is easier with a little help from your friends so if you have joined a dating site (or are thinking of joining a dating site) then talk with your friends and see if they would like to sign up with you.

Just because online dating is carried out in the comfort of your home, it doesn’t mean you can’t involve your friends, as you would normally do if you were looking to meet someone at work or in a pub.

So the next time you talk to your friends instead of asking if they want to go to the pub, ask if they would like to join you on a dating site so you can find love online together; the chances are they were thinking about it anyway but needed some encouragement from a friend.

Here are 5 ways enlisting the help of a friend can help you both find love online:-

1. It doubles your opportunities of meeting someone; your friend could recommend someone to you who he or she has met online and knows would be a perfect match for you … or vice versa!

2. Two pairs of eyes are better than one so why not make a night of it and invite your friend over to yours so that you can log on and search for a date together.

3. Arrange a chat room date with your friend and other members; together you will be able to judge their characters and decide whether you want to take it further.

5. If you both meet someone online, arrange a double date. Not only is there safety in numbers but everyone will be in the same boat when you date “offline”.

6. Finally, the majority of singles seek a second opinion before they date someone so if you are both registered with the same dating site, it’s easy to ask your friend to log on and let you know what they think of someone before you pass on personal information or arrange a date.

With so many positive ways your friends can increase your online dating opportunities, start calling your friends today!

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Alison Edwards a UK based dating site.